she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
