my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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