is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
