This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
