She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
