I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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