Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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