i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
