He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
