burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
