Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
