I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
