I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I touched a dick in church today
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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