yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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