let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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