you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
