drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just found a bag of teeth...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
