38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
