I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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