There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize