well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
