Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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