i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Congratulations! We have a period
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