You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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