yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
