I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
