JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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