Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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