in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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