New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
