Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
