ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
