Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think i peed on brittanys purse
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
