Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
