so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
