I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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