You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
