he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize