Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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