Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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