Tell her she can't have a vagina
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
