New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
