i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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