I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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