Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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