I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
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