Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
