it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He felt like a one man threesome
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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