I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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