Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
