His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
