i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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