chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
