she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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