dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
