i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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