sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
