I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
