somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Blood and glitter go together right?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
